Has it ever occurred to you that your thoughts are all you know? That each one of us experiences different thoughts, a different voice in our head telling us what to do. Our own voice or someone else’s? No one else’s.
Because if it’s inside your head how do you know that it’s real? If all of this is inside your head how can any of it be real? How can the people sat in a room with you, all breathing, thinking (if they are), be real if you can’t see inside their heads. “I think therefore I am”, I think therefore you’re not.
You’ve known no other, but your own voice echoing around your own empty, lonely head. Lost in a sea of thoughts. Trapped inside your own mind, dictated by its presumptions, judgements, experiences, emotions, desires, shame, perception, reasoning, knowledge.
Many of which remain hidden even from you. Never found, never rescued.
No one will ever know you to the extent you do. No one will ever appreciate you for what you are in your entirety, the things you don’t say rot and become stagnant inside your own mind.
You will never know anyone like you know yourself. Still exploring, still finding out things about yourself. You hate yourself. You love yourself. Does it matter?
It’s all you’ve known. It’s all you’ve got…
A booming voice: “Are you with us today?”
I blinked. I was in a classroom, everyone was looking at me glad of the distraction from the trigonometry drawn in flaky white chalk on the blackboard at the front. The light coming from the window at the front stunned me. The silhouette of a tall commanding figure loomed over me, hand on hip, chalk between fingers.
“If you spent as much time lost in your own head as you did found in my classroom you’d be top of the class!”
This was for DAY 4 of the Writing101 Challenge. As part of a 3 post series, the topic of today was something ‘lost’. I decided to write about a school student lost both inside their own head, and found inside the classroom.
Others in this 3 post series will be about something ‘found’, and about the concept of ‘lost and found’ and will follow at a later date.